


I Know It Ain't So Bad

by darlingcarmilla



Category: Agent Carter - Fandom, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: F/F, In America, It's about how Angie, It's angst, as someone Italian, but it ends on an okay note, but it's sad i'm sorry, it's just like a comforting fic I guess, p much angst, there is a racial slur I'm sorry, was affected by WW2
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-15
Updated: 2015-07-15
Packaged: 2018-04-09 09:52:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,497
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4343915
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darlingcarmilla/pseuds/darlingcarmilla
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Based on a prompt from cblgblog.tumblr.com<br/>"Angie is very Italian, at least in name. Many Italians were treated all kinds of terrible during WWII.  They had curfews, their homes were raided, some were arrested and thrown into internment camps.<br/>I feel like there’s no way Angie wasn’t affected, directly or indirectly, by some of this. And Peggy needs to find out, and they need to talk and cuddle, and Peggy needs to get super protective, and feel irrationally guilty that she wasn’t there to help Angie and her family.."<br/>This is just a little oneshot based on that prompt.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Know It Ain't So Bad

**Author's Note:**

> (warning: I’m not Italian, and I don’t know heaps about this, I just looked up a few things, so I’m sorry for any mistakes, also I’m sorry there’s a racial slur in there too, because as far as I’m aware that was the term used for black people, so just a warning.)

Angie had always been the cheerful one in their relationship. Sometimes too cheerful Peggy felt (Angie was a morning person and Peggy really was not). But today it was different. Today, however, it felt different. Often when Angie got home she was a little crabby. She loved to talk about the terrible customers and Peggy loved to hear her complain. It was fun, and Angie always put on the best voices. She was a great impersonator, and most nights they did it. It was a little fun, talking about Angie’s terrible customers, sometimes ever the people she worked with. Sometimes when Angie had had a rough week she didn’t feel like talking. That happened sometimes. Sometimes when Peggy had had a rough week they would drink together… often schnapps… until they could barely breathe for laughter. It was nice enough, and they both knew each others’ boundaries now. Most of them anyway. They’re had a few blunders, but Angie didn’t ask about Peggy’s past much anymore. Peggy talked about it when she wanted to, and Peggy didn’t ask about Angie’s either. Not about her family or anything. They had a few topics that weren’t off limits, but now they knew how to be gentle with each other. And ever though neither quite understood what the other endured they knew knew that there was a good reason to be gentle.

Today Angie had come home, and as soon as Peggy saw her, she felt her heart being twisted every which way, as if it were tied up in a thousand knots, and at once all she wanted was to take Angie is her arms and hold her forever, and tell her everything was alright and do anything she could to take her pain away. When Angie usually came in she usually took up a seat beside Peggy, and by the clack of her heels, Peggy’s head shot up, and Angie would greet her, “I’m back.” And Peggy would laugh and say, “I can tell.”   
But today was different. Peggy had been trained in noticing things. She wasn’t really wary around Angie so much… but she could tell the clacking was a little slower than usual, and when Angie sat down, she slumped, and even though her hair was usually pulled back (and she would unpin it later), she’d already unpinned the sides, and pulled them forward a little bit… something she never usually did… so that her face was a little hidden behind her mess of curls, and when she leaned into the chair and stayed as still as possible, and quietly said I’m home… it was the crack in her voice that really killed Peggy. She didn’t know what to do. They weren’t up to this yet. Their relationship had progressed slowly. They were safe together. Safe and comfortable and they had their rules, but Peggy didn’t quite know what to do now. She wasn’t very good at subtly but when she looked over she could see Angie was shaking a little and she didn’t want to hurt her. She never wanted to hurt her precious Angie.

“Angie?” she asked quietly. She slowly walked over to sit next to Angie on the couch, doing her best to be gentle and sit a little ways apart. She awkwardly placed her hand over Angie’s, and rested them on Angie’s knee. Peggy could feel Angie’s hand still quivering a little beneath her own.  
“Angie, Darling… are you alright?”  
Angie was silent a while before whispering, “Yes.”   
They both knew it was a lie.  
“Would you like to talk about it?”  
Apart from her shaking, Angie didn’t move.   
“Would you like me to get anything for you? Or do anything for you? Or… I…” even though she felt desperate, Peggy tried to keep her voice low. “Darling, if you… want anything. Anything at all, I’ll do it for you, alright? Even if you want me to get the moon for you, I’d have Howard on the phone in an instant. I’m sure we could arrange something.” She tried to joke but she couldn’t bring herself to smile. Angie smiled lightly. It wasn’t a real smile, just sort of something to show Peggy that she was grateful. It was brief, but it helped Peggy a little.

For a while they sat there. Peggy with her hand over Angie’s. Angie attempting to contain her shaking and slow her breathing. But finally she took a deep breath and Peggy knew Angie was about to speak, she felt tense with anticipation.  
“Peggy… I… I’m real sorry.” Angie said quietly. “I didn’t mean to be bleak or nothing.”  
At once Peggy felt she could help herself and scooted over closer to Angie, and kissed her gently on the cheek, “Oh Angie, Darling, no, I don’t… it’s not… you can tell me anything. Or not! Just… I uh, I don’t… it’s not your fault Darling. Don’t apologise.”  
At this Angie felt herself biting back tears. “Thanks Peg.” she whispered. “I think I can… if ya don’t mind… I think I can talk a little.”  
“Oh Honey of course.” Peggy murmured sympathetically, distraught at the idea of Angie thinking that Peggy wouldn’t listen to her. Peggy leaned back a little, letting Angie collect herself and have some space, although she didn’t let go of Angie’s hand. She really couldn’t bear to.

“Alright I guess uh… well, ya know Angie it don’t uh… it don’t sound like anythin’ really.” Peggy disagreed, it sounded lovely, but Angie seemed fragile right now, and she didn’t want to interrupt. “So uh… ya know. Well, ya don’t know, but I’m tellin’ ya. I uh… I ain’t got noticed much by anyone about uh, bein’ Italian. I mean… I know ya know. I ain’t keepin’ secrets from you Honey. But there’s been a bunch ‘a people who don’t like us much. And uh, well, sometimes I seen some people who ain’t real nice about it. I mean, you’d think now with the war over an’ everyone gettin’ back, there’d be less of the uh… I dunno, I guess I though maybe it’d all just stop.” Angie bit her lip and paused for a minute.  
“I mean not that… well, of course nothing just stops of course, there’re still some’s real mean to Mama, and I ain’t gonna think it ain’t so. I know I shouldn’t expect everythin’ to be perfect an’ of course it’s better. Most people’s either real nice, or maybe they don’t know or nothin’… but today well, I uh… I ran into some guys who were a bit of trouble.”

“Oh Angie, Sweetheart.”   
“Oh no English it uh,” Angie had to pause and wipe away a couple of tears, “I’m just bein’ silly, it ain’t really so bad. It was just a little thing.”  
Peggy pulled Angie into a hug, and held her there for a moment.   
“I’m just… I’m just bein’ silly, really.” Angie whispered.  
“No Angie, no you’re not being silly at all.” Peggy assured her, pulling her tighter.   
“Sorry… I should go on with the story I guess… if ya don’t mind.” Angie said after a couple of minutes. Peggy released her, and held onto her hand again. It was barely shaking now.  
With her other hand, Angie wiped away a few more tears and continued. 

“Well, I guess today. There was these guys I used to know, and they were sayin’ ‘Hey Martinelli! How’s ya Mama? We ain’t visited for a while!’” she laughed softly at this, “Ya see Mama has losta friends, some are real rowdy, and these bunch are always loud. So I was a bit annoyed, but I really don’t mind so much. But… then after they left, these guys who was in the corner. A pair of them, not a big group like Mama’s friends. I bet they was just awful in the war. I seen ‘em before. Don’t like women or negroes or nothin’ only ‘emselves, an’ makin’ people uncomfortable. Probably don’t like lesbians either… they were just awful. An’ as soon as I came up to them (ya see this was after my friends were gone) they started in on me. They started sayin’ that I was dirty an’ they couldn’t believe I was workin’ at a uh…” her voice broke a little again, and Peggy felt her heart breaking. “uh… that place. But then they said they guessed I couldn’t get a job anywhere else. And they heard me talkin’ about Broadway before, an’ they started sayin’ how I’d never make it big, an’ I ain’t got a chance in the theater, an’ I should change my name and get married! To one of them no less! So I was kinda… I know it ain’t so bad…”  
“Oh Honey,” Peggy began, “That’s terrible. Oh Angie, Darling…”  
“Well,” Angie replied, “It ain’t so much that. I mean I heard the before… but I guess. Back ya know… during the war… and a bit after. We weren’t treated so good. I’m lucky Mama’s safe, an’ ya know, I got a big family so uh… we had each other. But… there was lots of us who didn’t make it out of the war just the same, an’ I seen lotsa people hurt, an’ taken away from our homes, an’ I hid a lot, an’ well… I dunno…”

Angie took a shaky breath, “I just, I kinda got better, ya know? I was gettin’ better… and it was all good at the Griffith, and I thought things was lookin’ up. And I guess I let myself forget it a bit… I was tryna forget, and be different… I was tryna pretend it wasn’t real, and just…” more tears welled in her eyes, “I ain’t seen people like that since I got better… I ain’t heard no one talkin’ like that to me for a while… I mean, not ‘bout bein’ Italian. I heard a coupla people ‘bout bein’ a lesbian somtimes, but that’s a bit different… I can kinda… y’know… I dunno, I’m so used to that… but I just… I feel like I was tryna cover up everything. All the bad things, I thought I was cleanin’ my life up, but it was more like I just threw old sheets over everythin’ and someone just ripped off the sheets an’ yelled at me. Ya know?” Angie’s voice had grown louder and louder until she couldn’t barely hold it in anymore, and this time she threw herself at Peggy and started sobbing into her shoulder, and Peggy held her tightly as she sobbed and whispered, “My Darling, I’m so, so sorry. My poor, Darling Angie. I love you so much. My Sweetheart, my poor Angel. I love you so much, and I’ll never let anyone hurt you.”  
And finally Peggy stopped whispered and just sat there, holding Angie for a very long time. 

She held her as she wept and wept and clung to her. And it felt like such a long time. Angie felt awful and she couldn’t stop crying, they just kept coming, and just when she thought she was finished, something set her off again. It went on for ages, and for the whole time Peggy never once loosened her grip, or tried to move away. She just kept holding Angie, until finally Angie felt hollow and empty and weak. She couldn’t try anymore.   
And then, after a long silence, Peggy pulls back a little so that she’s face Angie, whose arms droop to her side, and with her arms still around her Darling sweetheart, speaks. Gently, but not too quietly she begins, looking directly into Angie’s eyes, which look back at her watery but expectantly, “My Darling, Angela Martinelli, I… I love you so much my Darling. I’m so sorry I wasn’t there to… I’m sorry my sweetheart. I’m sorry you ever had to endure anything like that. If it were my choice you would only ever be happy, and the worst that would happen to you would be a hangover from all the schnapps we drink.”  
A light smile flitted over Angie’s face for a second, “But Angie I… I know I can’t do that. But I can protect you. You and your family. I want to make sure you’re always safe, and your family is always safe, and don’t you ever worry about anything happening to you or anyone you love again. I won’t let it happen. I promise I will never let any such thing happen. Alright?”  
Angie nodded, her mess of curls bouncing as she did so.  
“Good. Now Honey, don’t forget that ever. And I you would like to talk about anything, you can talk as long as you like and I’ll be here, alright?”

Angie whispered slowly, “Thanks Peg…” and smiled a little, although it seemed forced.  
“So Angie, is there anything you’d like? Anything at all?”  
“Um…” Angie whispered very seriously, and a little nervously, “I know it’s kinda silly, but could we dance a little? An’ could ya… um, ya know? Hold me for a bit?”  
Peggy smiled and kissed Angie softly on the cheek, “Of course Darling, it isn’t silly, it sounds lovely.” And proceeded to pick a couple of records with some nice slow songs. And gently she took Angie in her arms and danced with her, slowly and gently. They danced for a long while, until eventually they both got tired, and ended up swaying back and forth, tightly pressed into each other… even when the music was finished playing, and Peggy knew she should turn off the gramophone, but she couldn’t barely tear herself away from Angie, who seemed to be a little cheered up. When they finally could, Angie whispered, “Are you hungry?”  
And Peggy said, “Maybe a little? Do you want me to make something for you?”  
This make Angie giggle for the first time that night, “How about you help me?”  
Peggy was too relieved at hearing Angie’s giggle to be offended. Well… okay, to be very offended.

So they ate lasagna together, and Peggy mostly talked about a musical Howard had gotten them tickets for, and Angie mostly listened. With no real pressure to talk she slowly felt better and better, and it was nice to eat something her Mama always made. They even had the staff get exactly the right kind of ingredients, so it was almost perfect. And that night as they got into bed, Angie confessed that she couldn’t quite sleep, so Peggy held her close and kissed her gently and wouldn’t stop Angie how much she loved her. Until finally Angie told her to “Shut up English, I love ya too!” And though she felt fragile and weak, Angie fell asleep also feeling warm, and much closer to Peggy… as well as relieved. Relieved that she had said all of these things, and Peggy had supported her. And even though she’d loved Peggy for a long time, the confirmation that she would be there no matter what was really nice.


End file.
